About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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