My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.