Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas