This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't trust your balls anymore.