Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
