the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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