found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
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I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize