He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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