i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
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Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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