We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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