Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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