Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
