At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
ttyl tear gas
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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