now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
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how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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