is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
