can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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