was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
