After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
