My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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