"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's blow job season.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
