Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
