As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
