i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
