Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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