I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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