Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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