Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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