I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
