Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
