so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
