Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
