Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
