Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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