Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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