I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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