I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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