i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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