maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize