the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
