He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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