sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
