The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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