i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
