I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
