um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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