Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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