I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
