No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
