help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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