Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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