what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
