you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize