This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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