I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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