ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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