I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
